Tag: ‘Inanimate Objects’



Kryptonite

Tuesday, May 10th, 2011

To the naked eye, this is a fairly lame photo. It’s just a desk with some papers and a book on it. Plus some salami, cheese and a glass of water.

To me, this is a photo of my oldest son’s Kryptonite.

He hates to read. He hates homework. And he hates anything else that his teacher shoves in that yellow folder.

“Hate” is such a strong word. But it fits in this picture.

He hates it all.

Except for the salami, cheese and the glass of water.

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Jake's Kryptonite

What you don't see is Jake curled up under the desk.

Sacramento Senior Portrait Photographer, Senior Portraits Sacramento, Family Portraits Sacramento, Inexpensive Photographer Sacramento, Budget Photographer, Sacramento Sports Photographer, Kathleen Lancaster Imagery

The Ultimate Tribute to Gas Grill Mortality

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

This is my father’s barbecue.

It’s missing two dials (for which he uses pliers to adjust), is covered in rust and cobwebs, and singes the hair off of anyone who dares ignite it.

He refuses to let us replace it, stating that it works just as well today as it did when he first bought it.

Back in May of 1986.

Long live Frank’s grill.

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Sacramento Senior Portrait Photographer, Senior Portraits Sacramento, Family Portraits Sacramento, Inexpensive Photographer Sacramento, Budget Photographer, Kathleen Lancaster Imagery

He’s Going to Make Us a Million Dollars

Wednesday, October 6th, 2010

I have a standing agreement with my 82-year-old father.

As long as he’s alive, I will spend every 1st Saturday in May by his side at our local race track so we can watch (and, of course, bet on) the Kentucky Derby.

This agreement has caught on with my other brothers and sisters, two of whom joined us this year for a day of food, drink, and wagering.

And lots of talk about his infamous “horse-picking system.”

“Listen to me,” he’ll say. “I got this thing all figured out. Been working on it for years. YEARS. And I finally got it working to perfection. You got to know your numbers and your decimals and how to read that racing form. It’s a good system. And when I die, I’m going to give it to you kids and you’ll all make a million bucks.”

None of us have ever figured out exactly why we have to wait until he dies before we get to make that million bucks.

We just know that we don’t have very many more Kentucky Derbys left to spend with him.

So we humor him with our gasps of theatrical surprise and gratitude for even THINKING of giving us his horse-picking system, and ask him who he’s got picked to win, and then secretly decide to bet on the horses with the funniest names instead.

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Senior Portrait Photography Sacramento, Family Portraits Sacramento, Inexpensive Photographer Sacramento, Kathleen Lancaster Imagery

This Is What Happens When I Listen to the Voices

Tuesday, October 5th, 2010

When I was at the park with the boys this past Sunday, “Nikon-Stalking” them while they were just trying to have a little fun, something told me to turn around.

This is what I saw.

I had no idea that the image I had captured would have so much significance 48 hours later.

To Lisa and Jaymie: She’s in a much better place.

Love, Auntie.

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Winner Winner, Chicken Taco Dinner

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

The house my parents bought back in 1954 was (and still is) within one mile of a taco stand.

That taco stand is now Emmas Taco House, and it’s our restaurant of choice for most (if not all) of our family gatherings.

The Mexican food is authentic and hot, and the margaritas have way too much tequila in them. Do I really need to say more?

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Free Crab

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

I love this sign.

Every time we eat at this restaurant, I stop and look at this sign and inevitably crack up.

It makes me want to look at the person standing next to me and say, “Get IT? . . . See, because the sign reads ‘Tomorrow,’ but then if you really come BACK tomorrow, then the sign reads ‘tomorrow,’ and . . . [nervous laugh] then, of course, you never really get the crab for FREE . . .”

But I never, EVER get to say anything because my husband always grabs my hand a few seconds after I’ve stopped to read the sign and says, “Yes, hon. They GET IT. Now stop embarrassing me.”

Then, of course, he heads inside and neatly ties a bib around his neck before diving into his fish dinner.

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Low Man

Wednesday, September 22nd, 2010

Here he is as promised: High Man’s little brother.

Low man, just like his older sibling, was also trying to tell me something as my husband and I were making our way to Reno.

“You’re the only people my brother and I know who will drive four hours round trip for a hamburger and a set of tires.”

That just makes us interesting. Or really picky.

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High Man

Tuesday, September 21st, 2010

I met this fella at a truck stop on the way to Reno.

In retrospect, I realize he was trying to tell me something, like, “Hey, woman. The tires on your truck will barely make the trip. Here’s the number of a Pep Boys in Sparks where you can get a good deal on a new set.”

Fascinating how they can speak, but the living don’t listen.

Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to his little brother.

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That’s One AWFUL Burger

Monday, September 20th, 2010

Meat Meet the Awful Awful burger.

This bad boy is made with 1/4 pound of beef, fresh lettuce/onions/tomatoes, freshly baked buns, cooked on a flat-top, and served on a bed of no less than one pound of hand-cut fries. All for the amazingly low price of $6.25.

To enjoy one yourself, you’ll need to drive to the Nugget Diner in Reno, Nevada (hidden in the back of the “Nugget Casino,” on Virgina Street). Where they also serve two ten-inch pancakes and an egg (the “Pancake Sandwich) for $1.99.

Clearly, these people know how to feed the hungry and broke.

Which is why you shouldn’t be surprised to find yourself sitting next to college kids and homeless people when you visit.

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Empty Bottles Go HERE

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

Over the weekend, my brother and I went to Sacramento’s “Second Saturday” event in Midtown.

During one of our stops for a cocktail, my brother nabbed a table that we could lean against while chatting and sipping. When he first claimed it, the table was empty.

Then, one-by-one, as people were exiting the bar, they used the table we were so proud of finding as an empty bottle dumping ground.

Never ones to let others ruin our spirit, we decided to arrange the bottles for a blog photo. The blue hue is coming from a bright neon sign behind us.

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